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Auto
 
Be bigger, stronger, drive a faster car
It will take you anywhere in seconds
$45,000

 
Dilithium Dust
Dilithium Dust - Gasoline Additive
$42.99

Books
 
Being Todd Beckworth
All Todd, all the time
$44.95

 
Learn to Live!
How-to book on bringing joy back to your life
$29.99

Electronics
 
Ghost in the Machine
Maybe there is something to that Matrix stuff.
$50.01

 
Harmonic Subspace Wormhole Inducer
Wormholes. The best way to circumvent time and space
$49.99

 
Stasis Bubble
Deluxe quartz controlled personal stasis bubble
$479.5

 
Thought Reader 4000
Small and sturdy Thought Reader 4000
$89.95

Entertainment
 
Britney Projector BSX
Britney Spears BSX virtual oil wrestling total immersion holo-projector
$3,100

 
Geek Trap
Stainless Steel Geek Trap - Model 150
$349.99

 
Good Music
All the good music, the kind you like.
$25

 
HellaCool Command Central
Mom! Not now, I'm busy.
$3,995.99

 
Justin Timberlake Accessory
New! Add-on to the popular Britney unit.
$21.99

 
Personal Shopping Assistant
One-click-buying on ANY website!
$12500

Fashions
 
Really Uncomfortable Shoes
Gee your ass looks terrific
$79.95

 
Ring of Sauron
One ring to rule them all
$19.95

 
Thermonuclear Underwear
Plutonium powered long johns with faint glow
$98.99

 
Thneed
Everybody do do, do do do do, do do need a thneed
$59.99

 
X-Ray Glasses
I can see clearly now
$75.95

Food and Beverage
 
Mega Mug
500 gallon, spacially warped mega-mug
$199.99

 
Spud
A potato
$1

 
Twinkie
Semi-soft, unwrapped twinkie
$0.01

Fun in the Lab
 
Mandelbrot
Collect the whole set
$14.99

 
Personal Black Hole
Commercial grade black holes for personal use.
$56,122.32

 
Thing
A thing.
$100

Health and Beauty
 
NorCrud™
A new and effective treatment for that embarrasing scalp condition.
$44.99

 
Holy Crap
Genuflect with confidence
$199.99

 
Nano-Tano
Get the perfect tan with nano-technology!
$22.95 per pint

 
Virginity Restorer
'Nuff said.
$1,000

 
Virginity Restorer - Econo Size
Buying in bulk saves you money
$5,000

Home and Garden
 
Bag Buddies
Bag buddiesTM organizing system.
$9.95

 
Bronzalawn
Bronzalawn monthly lawn care service
$5 / mo

 
Custom Crop Circles
Alien visitors or gullible media?
$995 and up

 
Frobconic Lot
Land in Aldebaran Frobconic estates.
$1e+06

 
Giger Dining Room Set
You'll hug your face in astonishment
$3900

 
Horta Eggs
They look great amongst the wysteria
$24.95

 
Instalite Charcoal
What's cookin`? It could be you.
$69.95

 
Mowing Station
Laser mowing station
$4199.99

 
Orc Manure
Fresh Orc Manure from Rohan, Gondor, Orthanc area
$5 / bag

Indulge Yourself
 
A Great Big Gun
Who's the patheric loser now, ass face?
$499

 
Jennifer Lopez
Jenny From The Block
$69.99

 
Ninjamatic
Be a Ninja!
$199.95

 
Peace and Quiet
Keep it down, ok?
$27,000

 
Super Stoker 9000 Cake
The birthday cake of your dreams!
$129.99

 
Your Happy Place™
I'm in my Happy Place™ and I feel fabulous
$99.50

Industrial
 
Heavy Machinery
Fully operable
$122,000

 
Kitten Press
Industrial Kitten Press
$320

 
Military Surplus Wormhole
Various sizes of military surplus wormholes
$47 Million

 
Portable Secret Facility Self Destruct Device
Set it and forget it
$1,595.00

Kids
 
Happy Fun Ball
Happy! Fun! It's a ball.
$19.95

 
Harry Potter Edition Sword Basket
Limited Edition Harry Potter Magic Sword Basket trick.
$29.99

 
WonderSplicer
WonderSplicer Junior Gene Splicing Set
$24.99

Personal Hygiene
 
EasyDumper
EasyDumper Elite self-contained waste disposal unit
$299.99

 
Odor Cancelling Underpants
No more turned up noses
$27.99

 
Solar Powered Toothpick
Good dental hygiene with no noxious emissions
$44.95

 
That Oh So Fresh Feeling
How fresh are you today?
$11.99

 
Wind Pills
Dr. Minehead's Rosy Aroma Wind Pills
$5.99

Pets
 
Combat Cat
A cute little kitty with a particle beam weapon
$2,250

 
Ferret Oxide
Is your ferret listless?
$7.95

 
Gerbil Pack - 50 count
Replacement gerbils for gerbil powered websites.
$24.99

Self Improvement
 
A New Attitude
Put on a happy face
$149.95

 
Happiness
Money can't buy happiness.
$0

 
Personal Demon
Just don't close your eyes
$122.45 / week

 
Swift Kick in the Ass
Just what you need.
$49.99

Simply Fabulous
 
Palantir
Palantir.
Standard round model.
Runs good, no scratches.

$599

 
Thumbtack, three old socks and a persimmon
Unique value pack
$12.95

 
Traffic magnet
Not at all, an attempt to draw traffic
$10.00

 
Vogon Poetry Generator
Freddled peril hewed my demure herd.
$49.95

Your Galaxy
 
A Road Map to Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence
Who knew?
$25

 
Cosmic Dust Sweeper
Tidy up your little corner of creation
$14.95

 
RotoBoom 9000
The number one planet shredder on the market today
$128795

 
Silly String Theory
String theory for dummies.
$19.95


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